Supporting someone with
BPD or EUPD
Strong emotions, fear of rejection and difficult moments in relationships can be painful for everyone involved. Start with what is happening now.
Source: NHS urgent-help guidance
Are they under 18? These pages focus on supporting an adult. See NHS support for children and young people. If you are under 18 and supporting someone else, see young-carer rights and support.
What do you need help with?
They have not spoken about what is happening
Talk about what you have noticed, not a label. Do not use this guide to decide that someone has BPD or EUPD.
Right nowEmotions are running high
Lower the pressure, avoid an argument and take a safe pause when needed.
ConversationI do not know what to say
Acknowledge the feeling without agreeing with everything or abandoning your limits.
ServicesHelp them find professional support
Prepare for appointments, ask about psychological therapies and challenge a refusal.
Refused helpThey will not accept support
Use the site-wide guide to keep communication open and respond if risk changes.
Longer termBuild a role you can keep
Agree boundaries, plan ahead in calmer moments and keep your own support.
Peer supportTalk to people who understand
Find structured family programmes and supporter resources.
If self-harm or suicide is part of what is happening
Use the site-wide pages for direct, sourced steps rather than trying to manage the risk alone.
About the wording
Mind explains that borderline personality disorder is also called emotionally unstable personality disorder. People have different views about both labels. Use the words the person prefers, and do not reduce every feeling or disagreement to a diagnosis.
Sources: Mind and NHS
Here for Someone is an independent information project. It is not a helpline or medical service. This area organises public guidance from the organisations linked beside the relevant information; it has not been clinically reviewed by Here for Someone.
Sources checked: 27 August 2026