Do this now
- Write down what's changed. Include specific things, rough dates and anything worrying about their safety. This can help a professional understand what is happening.
- Tell someone who can act on it: their GP or care team if you know them (phone, email or letter). If help cannot wait, use the route for their UK nation on the urgent-help page. You do not need to know their GP or care-team details to ask for urgent advice about someone else. Services may not be able to tell you things, but they can listen to what you have observed.
- Stop arguing about whether they're ill. Ask what they would most like to feel easier, such as sleep, money, fear or conflict. This may give you some common ground.[1]
Words you can use
What's getting in the way?
Refusing help usually isn't simple stubbornness. Open the one that fits.
They genuinely can't see that they're ill
In some illnesses, a person may not recognise that they are unwell. Repeating the argument is unlikely to help. Listen without correcting every point, give your view carefully and look for a shared practical goal.
Use a difficulty they have described, such as not sleeping, to discuss what help they might accept. Be clear about what you are suggesting and which concerns you want to share. Do not disguise the purpose of an appointment to get them there.
Fear, shame, or a bad experience last time
If they were treated badly before, or they feel frightened or ashamed, acknowledge that experience rather than repeating the same advice. Keep the offer open without raising it in every conversation.
Contacting their GP
Try to be open first where that is possible and safe. You can still contact the GP to share a concern. Ask the surgery to record the information and use it sensitively. The team may have to act on it in a way that reveals where it came from.
Don't know their GP? For a non-urgent concern, ask the person which surgery they use and whether they want help contacting it. If help cannot wait, do not delay while looking for contact details: use the urgent help for their UK nation.
Plan ahead: ask whether they want the team to share any information with you, and what should stay private. The information-sharing template helps them prepare their preferences to discuss and confirm with the team.
Not sure how to word it? Use the letter builder. Fill in the blanks and it writes a clear letter you can print or copy. (Nothing is saved.)
Be ready for the moment they say yes
They may agree to seek help briefly, then feel differently later. Keep useful details ready, including how to contact their GP, care team or urgent mental-health service for their UK nation. Samaritans is available on 116 123 if they would rather talk to someone outside the family.
When there is serious risk
- Call 999 if someone's life is at immediate risk or you cannot keep anyone safe.
- Call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option in England if urgent help is needed but there is no immediate danger. For another UK nation, use the service and number shown on the urgent-help page.
- Contact their existing mental-health team if they have one and the team has given a crisis or out-of-hours number.
- Contact their GP to share non-emergency concerns, request an appointment or ask for a referral.
Do not wait for the person to agree before reporting an immediate danger.
England and Wales only: In England and Wales, you can contact the local council’s adult social care team and ask for the Approved Mental Health Professional (AMHP) service to discuss whether a Mental Health Act assessment is needed. Describe the concerns and any recent changes.
Asking for an assessment does not automatically lead to someone being sectioned. The professionals must decide whether the legal conditions are met and what help is appropriate. Refusing help alone is not enough reason to detain someone. Read the fuller guide to sectioning and Mental Health Act assessments.[2]
If a professional says “they have capacity”
Capacity is about one specific decision at one time. It can fluctuate, and an unwise decision is not enough on its own. The mental-capacity guide explains what to ask.
If you asked for help and the service said no
Ask for the decision, reason and alternative plan. Pass on any new or worsening information. See when mental-health services say no.
And you?
Supporting someone who is refusing help can be frightening and exhausting. Support for you has people you can talk to today.
Sources and how this guide was written
Do this now
Mind on helping someone seek support, NHS England on listening to carers and GMC confidentiality guidance.Asking for a Mental Health Act assessment
NHS guidance on the Mental Health Act explains the assessment route. The Royal College of Psychiatrists’ England and Wales guide explains why detention may be needed and who decides. This is not an automatic consequence of refusing help.
Back to the advice
Last full source check: 27 August 2026
Later checks: Editorial changes and help-route wording checked against the linked guidance: 1 October 2026. Mental Health Act assessment request and detention distinction checked: 8 October 2026.
Independent information, not a medical or crisis service. This guidance has not been clinically reviewed. How we use sources.
← All guides