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Support for you · Difficult feelings

Guilt, anger and other difficult feelings

You can love someone and still feel angry, resentful, lonely or tired of the situation.

Your feelings count tooTry to describe the feeling without immediately judging it. Then decide whether you need someone to listen, a practical change or a firmer boundary.

Guilt

You may feel guilty for becoming impatient, taking a break, enjoying yourself or asking professionals to intervene. Carers UK advises being realistic about what you expect of yourself, pacing yourself and learning to say no some of the time.

Put both things into words“I care about them, and I am also finding this very hard.”
Source: Carers UK
Carers UK: guilt, resentment and difficult emotions.

Anger and resentment

Anger may be telling you that something needs to change: the amount you are doing, how you are being spoken to, or how little help you have. A useful next step is to turn the feeling into one clear request.

Make the change specific“I cannot keep taking every late-night call. We need another person or service involved.”

Mind advises setting boundaries, being realistic about what you can do and sharing the role with other people where possible.

Source: Mind
Mind: helping someone seek support and looking after yourself.

Grief for the person or life you remember

You may grieve changes in the person, your relationship or the future you expected, even though nobody has died. You do not have to force this into a positive lesson. It may help to discuss your own loss with a counsellor or a peer group without disclosing unnecessary details about the other person.

Find counselling for carersFind peer support
Sources: Carers Trust and Mind
Carers Trust counselling guidance and Mind's guidance for supporters.

Loneliness

Friends may not understand, and you may avoid talking because the situation feels private. You can still talk about your own experience without sharing names, diagnoses or personal details. A moderated community or local carers service may make this easier.

Talk to people who understandFind a local carers serviceSet a sustainable boundary
If the feelings are becoming unsafe If you are thinking about harming yourself, feel unable to keep yourself safe or need urgent mental-health help, use support for tonight now.

Here for Someone is an independent information project. It is not a helpline or medical service. This page organises public guidance from the organisations linked beside the relevant information; it has not been clinically reviewed by Here for Someone.

Sources checked: 27 August 2026

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