Visiting someone in hospital

Tell staff this is your first visit and ask someone to explain what will happen.

• Getting in: you may need to ring a bell and wait for staff to open the door. A locked entrance does not tell you whether the person is detained.
• Belongings: staff may check what you bring or ask you to leave some items with them. Ask what the ward allows before travelling.
• Where to sit: ask whether there is a visitor room if a shared area feels uncomfortable. Other patients may be distressed; get staff help if anyone makes you feel unsafe.

You do not have to stay for a long visit. If the person seems unusually drowsy, confused or physically unwell, tell a nurse what has changed.

[1]

Get the ward's direct number and save it. If you only know the hospital name, its switchboard can put you through. Ask for the ward's visitor information or welcome pack.

• When and where? Check whether you need to book, how many people can come, which entrance to use and whether visits avoid mealtimes or treatment. Ask about access or parking before making a long journey.
• If the usual times do not work: explain your work, travel or caring commitments and ask whether another time is possible.
• If a child wants to visit: arrange this with staff first. Ask where the visit would happen, who needs to accompany them and whether it is appropriate at present. Do not assume children can enter the ward itself.
• If either of you needs help communicating: request an interpreter or other communication support when arranging the visit.

Check with the person that they want the visit. If you cannot reach them, ask staff to pass on the offer. Postpone if you have an infectious illness and check the ward's guidance.

[2]

If admission happened in a rush, useful belongings may still be at home. Start with what they are missing rather than buying a gift.

• Everyday essentials: clean clothes and underwear, nightwear, toiletries, glasses, hearing aids and any mobility aids they use. Ask about laundry and label clothes where practical.
• Something they already enjoy: a magazine they read, a book they asked for, printed photos or a pack of cards. Bring something that can be put aside without having to finish it.
• Phone and charger: check the arrangements. Electrical items may need checking, and chargers or cables may be stored by staff.
• Food and toiletries: ask before bringing them. Food storage and dietary needs matter; glass containers, aerosols and razors may be restricted.

Speak to nursing staff before handing over any medicines, including over-the-counter products or supplements. Avoid taking valuables; ask how property is recorded and stored if something valuable is needed.

Ask for the actual ward's list. Something allowed on one ward may need checking or storing on another.

[3]

It can be hard to talk in a shared space. Ask whether there is a quieter visitor room. Check before taking photographs or making video calls so other patients' privacy is protected.

You do not have to make the visit a conversation about their illness. Tell them something ordinary from home, look through photos, do a crossword together or sit without talking. If you bring an activity, offer it without making it a task they have to complete. The games and puzzles list offers ideas you could choose together.

Agree roughly how long you will stay, then allow that to change. They may want company and still run out of energy after ten minutes. Before leaving, check whether they want another visit or would prefer a call.

If you want to go out together

Check their current leave arrangements with staff before planning a walk or trip out. Ask about any escort, return time and contact number. Being a visitor does not automatically mean you can act as an escort. A voluntary admission and detention have different rules; ask staff to explain the person's status and rights rather than assuming a locked ward door tells you.

[4]

If they do not want to see you, do not turn up hoping to change their mind. Ask whether a message or a practical delivery would be welcome, or ask staff to pass on that you are available. Give them room to change their mind without repeatedly asking.

If they blame you for the admission, you do not need to settle the whole argument during the visit. You might say: “I know you're angry with me. I came because I care about you. Would you rather I left for today?”

If staff restrict a visit, ask for the reason, how long the restriction will last and when it will be reviewed. Ask what contact is possible in the meantime.

If they seem unusually drowsy, confused, physically unwell or much more distressed than when you last saw them, tell a nurse what has changed. Do not assume it is just the illness or a normal effect of treatment.

If you feel threatened, leave the immediate situation and get staff help. You can end a visit without withdrawing your support.

[5]

Ask what is making the ward difficult and listen. You do not have to promise to take them home to show that you take them seriously.

You could say: “I can hear how much you want to leave. Let’s ask the nurse what needs to happen, and tell them what’s making it hard here.”

Ask staff to explain their current legal status, leave arrangements and how they can ask for discharge or a review. The rules differ for voluntary and detained patients. Do not assume either that they are free to leave immediately or that a locked door means they have no choice.

If they say something on the ward is frightening or hurting them, take that concern to staff. For help understanding their rights, see sectioning and advocacy.

[6]

Ask what happened and what they are worried about. Do not dismiss the account because they are unwell, or assume you already know why it happened.

You could say: “Tell me what happened. I’ll help you ask about it.” With their agreement, ask the nurse or prescriber to explain the treatment, what effects are expected and what needs review.

If they are unusually hard to wake, confused, physically unwell or unsafe, tell a nurse now. Ask for the nurse in charge if you cannot get a response.

For an allegation of abuse or neglect, ask about safeguarding and independent advocacy. Keep a note of what was reported and who you spoke to. How to get a safety or care concern heard.

[7]

Ask who their named nurse or main contact is, and how to arrange a conversation. For something that needs attention today, ask the nurse on duty rather than waiting for one particular person to return.

Agree what you can be told

If the person wants you involved, ask staff to record who can receive information, what can be shared and how to contact you. They might agree to practical updates without wanting every treatment discussion shared. They can change their mind.

If they do not consent, staff will usually be limited in what they can tell you. You can still give staff information about your concerns. Ask for general information about ward routines and how to raise an issue. Do not assume what you say will stay secret from the person: it may be recorded or discussed with them. If that could put you at risk, tell staff before sharing the details.

Make the meeting useful

A ward round is a meeting to review care. With the person's agreement, ask to attend, join by phone or send questions beforehand. Agree with them which points they want help raising, so your presence does not take over the discussion.

• What is the team trying to achieve during this admission?
• What has changed in their treatment, and what benefits or side effects are being checked?
• What needs to happen before they can leave hospital?
• Who will do what next, and when will it be reviewed?

Bring a brief note of changes you have noticed, with dates or examples. Before the meeting ends, check the agreed actions and who you should contact if nothing happens.

[8]

What you can tell the care team, and what it can share with you.

For an immediate concern, speak to nursing staff now. This includes something they have said about suicide, a sudden physical change, or feeling unsafe with someone on the ward. If they tell you by phone, call the ward directly. Do not leave an urgent concern in an email or wait for the next ward round.

Say what you saw or heard, when it happened and what is different. For example: “They're much harder to wake than yesterday. Can someone assess them now?” Ask staff to record the concern and explain what will happen next.

If you cannot get a response, ask for the nurse in charge, then the ward manager or duty manager. For an ongoing problem, keep a note of who you spoke to, the date and what was agreed.

If they report bullying, abuse or neglect, take it seriously. Ask how the ward will keep them safe and how to contact the hospital's safeguarding team. They can also ask for independent advocacy to help make their wishes heard.

Advocacy rights and services differ across the UK. IMHA is the England and Wales route for people who qualify. In Scotland, people with mental illness have a right to independent advocacy even when they are not detained; the Mental Welfare Commission explains this right. In Northern Ireland, ask the ward how to access advocacy support; nidirect explains patients’ rights. For detention and representation, see the guide to sectioning and UK nation routes.

For an unresolved concern, ask for the hospital's patient advice or complaints service. In England, this is often PALS. Our guide to challenging a service response has the routes for all four UK nations. A complaint is separate from getting an immediate safety concern acted on.

[9]

If the hospital is far from home

Ask why this hospital was chosen, which local team is staying involved and who will update you, with the person's agreement. Ask when the placement will be reviewed and whether moving closer to home would help their care. Do not promise a transfer date.

In England, NHS England's adult acute inpatient guidance says out-of-area care should include help to maintain contact with chosen supporters, including funding travel and accommodation for visits and support with remote communication. Ask the ward and the team arranging the placement how this will work: who approves costs, whether they can arrange travel if you cannot pay upfront, and which receipts to keep. Get the arrangement agreed before booking. Elsewhere in the UK, ask the hospital and the service arranging care about their policy.

This is different from the ordinary NHS Healthcare Travel Costs Scheme, which does not cover visiting someone in hospital. If you cannot get a clear answer, ask the hospital's patient advice service or use the routes for raising concerns.

Make remote contact workable

Agree a realistic way to stay in touch that the person wants. Ask about a ward phone, video calls or passing on a message if they cannot use their own phone. Check before promising a call at a fixed time; ward routines and their energy may get in the way.

Ask whether staff can help arrange a device, a quieter place and any communication support. With the person's agreement, ask to join a ward round by phone or video, send questions beforehand and arrange how you will hear the agreed next steps. Use the meeting-notes tool to prepare and print your questions.

If a call leaves you worried about their immediate safety, phone the ward directly and ask nursing staff to respond. A missed call alone does not tell you what is happening.

With their permission, choose a practical job you can take off their list: feed a pet, bring clean laundry, collect post or help rearrange an appointment. Ask what they want an employer or other relatives to be told before contacting them.

Money or housing problems may need more than a favour. Ask the ward about social work or welfare advice if rent, bills, benefits or caring responsibilities are at risk. Do not assume these have already been dealt with because the person is in hospital.

If distance, cost or work makes frequent visits impossible, tell staff. Ask whether you can join care discussions remotely and agree contact you can keep up. You can also ask what activities or occupational therapy are available between visits.

[10]

Ask about discharge planning during the admission, rather than waiting until the day they leave. If you will be providing support, explain what you can do and what you cannot. A plan should not depend on you being available at all hours unless that has actually been discussed and agreed.

Before they come home, ask who will follow up, when the first contact will happen, who to call if things deteriorate and whether practical support is ready. Ask how medicines and any changes will be explained to the person and, with their agreement, to you.

Coming home after a crisis has the full discharge checklist and explains what to do if the plan is unclear.

[11]