I'm worried they may be thinking about suicide

[1]

Supporting a child or teenager? The emergency route above applies. Use suicide concerns about your child for age-specific signposting. For a child caring for someone else, see young-carer rights and support.

Have they already had an attempt and received medical help? See support after a suicide attempt, including coming home from A&E.

Ask directly

If they say yes, take them seriously. Listen and give them time to talk rather than rushing to reassure, solve or challenge what they have said.

If you are uncertain how immediate the danger is, call the relevant urgent service and explain exactly what has been said and what you have observed.^[2]

If they do not want help, tell the professional. You can call about serious concerns without waiting for their agreement, but do not try to force them into an assessment yourself. Consent and decisions about assessment or treatment are separate from your decision to seek advice.

While you get help

• Listen without arguing, lecturing or listing reasons they should be happy.
• Do not promise to keep suicidal thoughts secret.
• Involve professional help and, where possible, another trusted person. Do not try to become their only source of safety.
• If you can do so safely, reduce access to anything they have said they may use to harm themselves. Do not put yourself in danger or take sole responsibility for keeping someone safe.
• If the situation changes or you can no longer keep anyone safe, call 999.^[3]

If you are not with them

Try calling. If they answer, ask where they are and whether anyone is with them. You could text: “That message worried me. Can you pick up? Where are you right now?” If you can, stay on the phone while help is arranged.

If their message suggests immediate danger and they stop replying, call 999. Give their location or last known location, phone number and exactly what they said. Tell the operator what you do not know. Do not wait for another reply before seeking help. A trusted person nearby may be able to check on them safely; do not put yourself or anyone else at risk. If you are worried but there is no sign of immediate danger, contact their crisis team or the urgent service for their UK nation for advice.^[4]

If you cannot find them, see reporting someone missing and what to tell the police.

If they say no, but you are still worried

Listen to their answer without arguing or trying to catch them out. You could say: “OK. I asked because your message worried me. Do you want to tell me what’s been going on?” A “no” does not cancel out signs of immediate danger. If you remain concerned, share what you have noticed with their care team or an urgent service. You can ask for advice without their permission.

If they mean “no” to getting help, offer to help: calling together, sitting with them, or contacting someone they trust. If someone’s life is at risk or you cannot keep them safe, call 999 even if they object.^[5]

If they ask you not to call anyone

Do not promise to keep suicidal thoughts secret. Explain that you may need to involve appropriate help because you care about their safety. Use the specific route in the Who to call box above.^[6]

What urgent services may ask

Be ready to say where the person is, whether they are alone, what they have said, whether they have hurt themselves, whether anyone is in immediate danger, and whether they already have a GP, crisis team or mental-health service.

You do not need to conduct your own detailed assessment before calling.^[7]

Someone to talk to

These services provide emotional support. They are not substitutes for 999 in an emergency.

• Samaritans: 116 123. Free to call. 24 hours, every day.
• Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258. Free to text. 24 hours, every day. Replies may take longer when the service is busy. For immediate danger, call 999.^[8]

Changes worth taking seriously

Talking about wanting to die, feeling hopeless or being a burden, withdrawing from people, disturbed sleep or drinking more can be reasons to check in and ask directly. These changes do not prove someone is suicidal, and someone at risk may show no obvious signs. You do not need a checklist or certainty before asking for help.^[9]

After the immediate crisis

You may feel frightened, shaky, angry, guilty or exhausted. Speak to someone you trust, contact a listening service for yourself, and do not take on the entire support role alone.

When the person is safer, a safety or crisis plan should be made with them, not about them. It can record warning signs, what has helped before, who they want contacted and which professional services are involved.

If the person has died, support after a death is here for you.^[10]

Independent information, not a medical or crisis service. This guidance has not been clinically reviewed. How we use sources.