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Guides · When you are worried

They seem low or withdrawn

You don’t need to know what’s wrong to ask how they’re doing.

Low mood can have many causes, including illness, bereavement or difficulties with work, relationships or money. Sometimes the reason is unclear. Start with what has changed for them and ask how they are.[1]

Supporting someone under 18? Go to the guide for children and teenagers.

Start with a conversation

Mention something you’ve noticed and give them room to answer. You could say:

Something you could say“You’ve seemed quieter lately. How are you doing?”

Listen to what they tell you. If they don’t want to talk, let them know they can come back to you. You can still spend time together without talking about how they feel.[2]

More on raising your concerns

Ask what would help

Offer something specific: getting some shopping, making a meal, going for a walk or keeping them company. Ask what they would prefer. Keep talking about the things you usually share, too.[2]

If they turn down help, ask what puts them off and whether there is anything they would accept.[3]

When they don’t want help

When they may need more support

Suggest speaking to a GP if they are finding it hard to cope, everyday life is becoming difficult, or their low mood has lasted more than two weeks. They can ask for help sooner if they need it.[1]

Offer to help make an appointment or go with them, if they would like you to. They can describe what has been happening without having to name a condition.[3]

How to get NHS mental-health help

If you are worried about their safety

If they need help urgently, find urgent help for their UK nation. If someone’s life is at risk or you cannot keep them safe, call 999 or go to A&E.[4]

Sudden confusion needs immediate medical help. Call 999 or go to A&E.[4]

Related help
Sources and how this guide was written
  1. Low mood and getting help. NHS: low mood explains that low mood can have different causes and when to speak to a GP.
  2. Talking, listening and practical support. NHS Every Mind Matters: helping others and Mind: support from friends and family. The suggested words and observation prompts were written for this guide; they are not a symptom checklist.
  3. Offering help and preparing for an appointment. Mind: helping someone seek support.
  4. Urgent concerns. NHS: urgent mental-health help and NHS: sudden confusion. Our urgent-help page gives the routes for each UK nation.

Last full source check: 20 October 2026

Independent information, not a medical or crisis service. This guidance has not been clinically reviewed. How we use sources.

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