Guides

For parents, carers and other adults supporting an under-18. Choose a situation; no diagnosis needed.

• Start here: children and teenagersChoose what is worrying you, with age-appropriate routes and support for you.
• Urgent help for my childWhat to do now and who to contact in each UK nation.
• My child is self-harmingFirst conversations, getting professional help and questions for their team.
• I am worried my child might be thinking about suicideAsking, responding and bringing in professional help.
• Getting help: GP, school, CAMHS and waitingReferrals, support meanwhile and what to ask if things get worse.
• My child is struggling to attend schoolWorking with school and finding the rules for your UK nation.

You can talk about what is worrying you without knowing a diagnosis.

• How to raise your concerns with themWhat to say when you are worried, and how to respond.
• How to listen when you don't know what to sayGive them time, ask open questions and allow pauses.
• When a conversation turns into an argumentRepair a difficult exchange, disagree honestly and know when to pause.

Part of the raising-concerns guide: Raising concerns at work — talking privately to a colleague or someone you manage.

Help with changes that worry you, a crisis or time in hospital.

Changes that worry you

• I'm worried they may be thinking about suicideWhat to ask, what to do next and where to get urgent help.
• They are suddenly behaving very differentlyWhat to do when their mood, energy, speech, sleep or behaviour has noticeably changed.
• They won't accept help: what you can doHow to keep communication open, share concerns and respond if the risk changes.
• They seem frightened, suspicious, or are hearing or seeing thingsHow to respond without arguing and without playing along.
• "I'm a burden. You'd be better off without me."How to respond and when to ask about suicide.
• They're angry with me and I get the blameHow to respond, pause an argument and set limits.
• Someone I care about is self-harmingChoose what you need: the first response, what to say, professional help or supporting over time.

Crisis, hospital and coming home

• Someone is missingWhen to report someone missing and what information police may need.
• Phoning for help: what to sayWhat to say, what might happen after a call, and what to ask before you hang up.
• Sectioning and Mental Health Act assessmentsWhat happens during an assessment, what detention means and which practical questions to ask.
• After someone has attempted suicideComing home from A&E or a mental-health ward, talking, safety and support for you.
• Going to A&E with someoneArriving, waiting, being heard and checking the plan before leaving.
• Visiting someone in hospitalWard visits, care far from home, remote contact and questions to print or take to a meeting.
• Coming home after a crisisWhat to ask before discharge and how to keep in contact afterwards.

Understand NHS care, prepare for appointments or deal with a delay or refusal.

• Getting help from NHS mental health servicesGPs, referrals, assessments and teams; what happens next and what friends or family can ask.
• Services aren’t helping or the wait is too longChase a referral, ask about help while waiting, or challenge a refusal.
• Confidentiality: being heard by the care teamPassing on concerns, privacy and what services can share with you.
• Write to their GP or prepare for a meetingMake a letter, or organise questions and notes for an appointment or care meeting.

Within the NHS guide: Language and communication · Police, courts and prison.

You can also prepare for an appointment or review, or find professional-help advice in a condition guide.

Everyday life, staying in touch, treatment and help for you.

• Supporting them over months or yearsEveryday life, independence, relationships and sharing the responsibility.
• I’m tired and cannot keep doing this aloneTaking a break and getting practical help for yourself.
• Keeping in touchConversations, unanswered messages, privacy and when to involve someone else.
• Living together when someone is unwellDaily life at home, children and siblings, what to tell relatives and the strain on a couple.

Activities and resources — things to do together and resources to share. For your own needs, visit Support for you, including the carer’s assessment request tool.

Help for older people, students, young carers, under-18s, transitions and additional needs.

• Supporting an older person through depressionLater-life needs, access to treatment, independence, company and practical help.
• Supporting a student away at universityHelp from a distance, university concerns, local healthcare and study difficulties.
• A child or teenager is helping to careYoung carers need their own support, time for school and help with responsibilities.
• They are moving to adult servicesPlanning the handover and dealing with gaps in care.
• Autism or ADHD alongside mental-health difficultiesCommunication, sensory needs, autistic burnout, meltdowns, shutdowns and getting help.
• I am worried about a child or an adult at riskWhen and where to raise a safeguarding concern.