Do this now
- Do not argue point by point. Listen to what they are trying to tell you.
- Keep your reply simple. Tell them you do not see them as a burden.
- Ask directly about suicide. If they say yes, or you remain worried, use the suicide guide. It explains what to ask and how to get help.
- Stay with them if you can. A cup of tea and some ordinary company may help.[1]
Words you can use
What to avoid saying
- "Don't be daft." This dismisses what they have said.
- A long list of reasons they are useful. It can turn the conversation into an argument.
- "Other people have it worse" or an immediate attempt to find a positive side.
Take it seriously and ask if you are worried
If this phrase or anything else makes you worry about suicide, ask directly. The suicide concern guide gives sourced wording and explains what to do next.
Keep checking in
People with depression often withdraw. Keep sending occasional messages even if they stop replying, and keep invitations low-pressure. Encourage them to contact their GP when there is an opening. An adult usually needs to agree to assessment and treatment; you can offer support but usually cannot make them accept help. You can still pass concerns to a professional and ask for advice. If help cannot wait, use the urgent help for their UK nation, even if you do not know their GP. In England, call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option.
And you?
Hearing someone you love talk like this can be painful and exhausting. Support for you is a place to start.
Sources and how this guide was written
Last full source check: 27 August 2026
Consent and seeking advice wording checked: 7 October 2026. Sources and explanation.
Later checks: Help-route wording checked: 1 October 2026.
Independent information, not a medical or crisis service. This guidance has not been clinically reviewed. How we use sources.
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