Here for someone

What to say & do

"I’m a burden. You’d be better off without me."

Short answerDo not dismiss it or start listing reasons they are useful. Acknowledge how bad they feel, tell them you want them there, and keep checking in.
If they're in danger right now: call 999. Urgent but not life-threatening? Call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option - you can call about someone else, any time.

Do this now

  1. Do not argue point by point. Listen to what they are trying to tell you.
  2. Keep your reply simple. Tell them you do not see them as a burden.
  3. Stay with them if you can. A cup of tea and some ordinary company may help.
Sources: PAPYRUS and Samaritans
PAPYRUS advises asking directly about suicide when you are worried. Samaritans advises listening with open questions rather than responding immediately with advice or opinions.

Words you can use

Answering the burden feeling"I don't see you as a burden. I'm glad you told me how bad things feel."
Making it safe to be honest"I'm glad you're telling me how bad it's got. You don't have to dress it up for me."
  • "Don't be daft." This dismisses what they have said.
  • A long list of reasons they are useful. It can turn the conversation into an argument.
  • "Other people have it worse" or an immediate attempt to find a positive side.

More on this

Take it seriously and ask if you are worried

If this phrase or anything else makes you worry about suicide, ask directly. The suicide concern guide gives sourced wording and explains what to do next.

Keep checking in

People with depression often withdraw. Keep sending occasional messages even if they stop replying, and keep invitations low-pressure. Encourage them to contact their GP when there is an opening. If you do not have their GP's details, you can call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option.

And you?

Hearing someone you love talk like this can be painful and exhausting. Support for you is a place to start.

Here for Someone is an independent information project, not a crisis service. The listening and suicide-safety points on this page are based on the linked PAPYRUS and Samaritans guidance.

Sources checked: 27 August 2026

← All guides