Here for someone

Supporting someone who self-harms

Help with injuries, difficult conversations and finding support when someone self-harms, whether you have just found out or this has been happening for some time.

Supporting a child or teenager? Use child self-harm: a route for parents and other adult supporters. The fuller YoungMinds parent guide is age-specific. For adults helping a child who cares for someone else, see young-carer rights and support.

What do you need help with?

Select a topic below.

Before a conversation

I have noticed signs, but they have not told me

Talk to them about your worries, or keep in touch and get advice if you are not nearby.

 Right now

I have just found out

Manage your first reaction, respond without judgement and decide what needs to happen next.

 Conversation

I do not know what to say

Focus on the feelings behind the self-harm and avoid blame, interrogation or ultimatums.

 Professional help

Help them find support

Use their GP, understand what should happen after hospital attendance and respond to refused help.

 They are not ready

They won't talk about it or accept help

What you can do without pressing them to explain, including when they do not want help.

 Longer term

When self-harm keeps happening

Respond to recurrence, agree contact and get a review when the current plan is not working.

 Peer support

Talk to people who understand

Find specialist spaces for family, partners and friends.

 Medical help

Do they need urgent medical help?

Find advice about injuries, immediate safety and worries about suicide.

 Understanding self-harm

When they need medical help now

If you are unsure whether an injury needs treatment, use the urgent medical help for their UK nation. The first-response guide explains when medical help is needed. If you are worried about suicide, use the suicide concern guide.[1]

Understanding self-harm

Approach them with care, not judgement

Ask how they want to be supported and focus on what they are feeling rather than judging the behaviour. Let them retain control of their decisions where it is safe to do so. Do not remove items without discussing it with them unless immediate safety requires emergency action.[2]

Sources and how this guide was written

  1. Opening advice

    NHS urgent mental-health help and NHS: how to help someone else.

    Back to the advice

  2. Approach them with care, not judgement

    NHS: how to help someone else and Mind: supporting someone who self-harms.

    Back to the advice

About the sources

NHS guidance covers urgent medical help; NICE explains care after assessment. Mind provides supporter advice. YoungMinds links are for under-18s.

Last full source check: 28 August 2026

Later checks: Medical-help routes checked: 1 October 2026.

Independent information, not a medical or crisis service. This guidance has not been clinically reviewed. How we use sources.