Here for someone

Self-harm · First response

I have just found out

Your first response does not have to solve the self-harm. It needs to make it easier for the person to keep talking and receive help.

Pause before reactingThe NHS and Mind advise approaching the person with care, understanding and without judgement. If you feel shocked or angry, settle your first reaction before beginning a longer conversation.
Medical help may come first. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone's life is at risk. If you are unsure whether an injury needs treatment, contact NHS 111. If suicide is a concern, use the suicide guide.

When a wound needs urgent medical help

Call 999 or go to A&E if bleeding will not stop, blood is coming out in spurts and is difficult to control, the wound is very large or deep, there is loss of feeling or difficulty moving near it, or something is stuck in the wound. Do not try to remove an embedded object yourself.

Urgent treatment centres can treat many cuts and wounds that are not life-threatening. If you are unsure where to go, call NHS 111. For redness, increasing pain, swelling, heat, discharge, a bad smell, fever or feeling unwell after a wound, contact a GP or NHS 111.

Primary medical source: NHS wound guidance
NHS: cuts and grazes and NHS: urgent treatment centres.

Do this first

  1. Show care before asking for detail. Let them know you want to understand and help.
  2. Ask what they need right now. They may want medical help, quiet company or time before talking.
  3. Listen without interrogation. Ask one question at a time and do not demand to see injuries.
  4. Keep the next step small. This might be contacting a GP, seeking medical advice or agreeing to speak again later.
  5. Keep ordinary contact going. Do not let self-harm become the only subject in the relationship.
Sources: NHS, Mind and Charlie Waller
NHS: how to help someone else, Mind: supporting someone who self-harms and Charlie Waller: guide for parents and carers.

What not to do

  • React with punishment, disgust or blame.
  • Demand to inspect injuries or hear every detail.
  • Call it attention-seeking or a phase.
  • Insist on an immediate promise to stop.
  • Remove items or take over decisions without discussing it, unless urgent safety action is needed.

Do not search or confiscate in secret as a routine response

Searching a room, checking possessions or removing items without discussion can damage trust and may make it harder for the person to speak honestly. Ask whether they want help making the environment safer and agree what should be moved, where and for how long.

This is not an absolute rule. If there is immediate danger, call 999 and follow professional instructions. If the person is under 18, or a child or adult at risk may be unsafe, safeguarding responsibilities can require adults or services to act even without agreement.

Sources for control, safety and safeguarding
Mind: let the person retain control of decisions where possible and Here for Someone: safeguarding routes sourced by UK nation.

If someone else told you

Do not make promises of secrecy you cannot keep. Be honest about who may need to know for safety, especially when a child or adult at risk is involved. Where possible, tell the person before sharing information.

What to say nextHelp them find supportSafeguarding concerns

This page organises public guidance from the linked organisations; it has not been clinically reviewed by Here for Someone and contains no method details.

Sources checked: 28 August 2026

← Self-harm overview