Support without becoming a guard

Avoid taking over

Mind advises being sensitive to the person's need for control and discussing any removal of items with them rather than doing it without their knowledge. Decisions about safety planning or reducing access to means should be collaborative and, where possible, supported by their care team.

Keep the relationship wider

• Keep doing ordinary things together.
• Notice strengths and interests that have nothing to do with self-harm.
• Do not make every check-in a progress test.
• Let professionals carry treatment and assessment.
• Share the supporting role rather than becoming the only person who knows.

Use a plan made with them

NICE says safety plans should be written with and agreed by the person. A plan can record warning signs, coping strategies, supportive people, professional contacts and how to make the environment safer. It should not be written about them in secret as a substitute for professional help.

Look after the supporter too

The NHS says people supporting someone who self-harms should take care of themselves. NICE says services should provide family members and carers with information and advice on coping. Your own GP, peer support and the site's supporter pages are legitimate routes for you.

This page organises public guidance from the linked organisations; it has not been clinically reviewed by Here for Someone and contains no treatment or harm-minimisation instruction of its own.

Sources checked: 28 August 2026