Short answerYou do not need a perfect response. Give them time, listen without interrupting and resist jumping straight to advice.
If they're in danger right now: call 999. Urgent but not life-threatening? Call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option - you can call about someone else, any time.
Do this now
- Give them your attention. Put your phone away and turn the television off, even if you only have ten minutes.
- Ask, then wait. "How are things, really?" They may say very little the first time. Ask again another day.
- Say back what you heard, for example: "So the mornings are the hardest." This shows you have understood. Try not to add advice straight away.
Source: Samaritans
Instead of "let me know if you need anything"
A general offer can be hard to act on. Offer something specific and small:
Offer something specific"I'm bringing dinner on Thursday. Would six or seven be better?"
Let the silences sit
Silence can give someone time to work out what they want to say. You do not need to fill every pause. If they only say "fine", leave the door open and try again another day.
And you?
If the conversation has affected you, talk it through with someone you trust or visit Support for you.
Here for Someone is an independent information project. This page organises public guidance from Samaritans and is not a substitute for urgent or professional help.
Sources checked: 27 August 2026
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