We’re just getting to know each other
You may be talking, dating or beginning a relationship. If they have told you about their mental health, the guide to responding when someone opens up gives you somewhere to start.
Keep getting to know each other: what you enjoy, how you communicate and what each of you wants from a relationship. Take things at a pace you both feel comfortable with. Their diagnosis alone cannot tell you whether the relationship will work.
Ask what support they would welcome and what already helps. Offer something you can keep doing, and leave room for your own friendships, plans and needs. Becoming their partner does not mean you have to manage their treatment or be their only source of support.[4]
“I like spending time with you, and I’d like to keep getting to know you. Is there anything that would make our time together easier?”
Talk about this week’s pressures
Choose a calmer moment to work out what needs doing and what each of you can manage. Be specific: meals, bills, school runs or a night of uninterrupted sleep. Ask who else could help with something neither of you can take on.[1]
“I want to help, but I’m struggling with everything that needs doing. Can we work out what we can each manage this week and what we need help with?”
We barely feel like a couple
Ask whether there is something you would both enjoy that does not revolve around appointments or how they are feeling. It might be watching something together or getting out for a coffee. Leave room for either of you to say no.
They want me to be available all the time
Use the boundary guide to work out what you can keep offering. During a calmer spell, plan who to contact when you are unavailable. If the situation is urgent now, use urgent help.
The children are noticing
Living together: children, relatives and home life.
You might be trying to explain cancelled plans, changed routines or why their parent is in hospital. Mind’s guide to parenting and mental health has ideas for arranging family support. If children are taking on caring tasks, the young-carer guide explains how to find help for them. If you are worried about a child’s safety, use safeguarding guidance.
They seem irritable or we keep snapping at each other
Pause a conversation that is getting heated and return to one practical issue when you can both talk. Ask what has changed and what is hardest, without deciding for them what the cause must be. Responding when you get the blame includes ways to pause and set limits.
Work out what needs to change and what you can keep offering.[3]
I feel frightened or controlled
For threats, intimidation or feeling unsafe at home, go to help when you feel frightened or threatened. It includes specialist domestic-abuse support. You can ask for advice about your own safety.
Last full source check: . Next source check due: . What these dates mean.
Sources for this advice
- Sharing everyday responsibilities
Mind: how other people can be supportive supports being realistic about what you can do and finding help. The household examples and suggested words are ours.
Back to the advice - Staying close
Mind: how other people can be supportive suggests keeping everyday conversation and contact alongside mental-health support. The suggestions for time together are ours.
Back to the advice - Limits and support for you
Mind: how other people can be supportive covers being realistic about what you can do and sharing the support. The boundary guide gives the sources for its practical suggestions.
Back to the advice - Starting a relationship
Mind: how other people can be supportive covers asking what helps, trust, respect, everyday contact and limits. The early-relationship suggestions and example are ours; they do not predict how a relationship will develop.
Back to the advice
Last full source check for this relationship advice: 2 October 2026
Support for you · Find people who understand
Last full source check: 2 October 2026
Independent information, not a medical or crisis service. This guidance has not been clinically reviewed. How we use sources.