Ask what they want from you
A conversation between the two of you may be different from a family discussion. Ask whether they want company, practical help or someone to listen. If you usually share jokes, music or a hobby, there is still room for that.
“Would you like me to come over? We can talk about what’s happening if you want, but we don’t have to.”
I’m caught between them and our parents
Living together: children, relatives and home life.
Before agreeing to pass on an update, ask your sibling what they want shared. If you are being asked to settle every disagreement, be clear about what you can take part in.
Privacy and when to involve someone else · Words for setting a limit[1]
I’m worried I’ll have to take over their care
If your parents are getting older or finding support harder, put this on the agenda before it becomes urgent. Ask your sibling what they want. Write down the help currently provided and which parts need another arrangement; avoid leaving it as “you’ll look after them”.
The family’s attention is always on them
You can love your sibling and still want time with your family that is about your own life. The difficult-feelings guide has help with resentment and guilt. You do not have to wait for another crisis to talk about the effect on you.[2]
I want to talk to another sibling
Rethink Mental Illness’s group finder has a Siblings filter. Check each group’s location, age range and whether it meets online, then contact the organiser about joining.
You can also read Eleanor’s account of supporting her sister. It is one person’s experience, not a model everyone has to follow.[3]
Last full source check: . Next source check due: . What these dates mean.
Sources for this advice
- Family roles and your own needs
Rethink Mental Illness: Eleanor’s story is a first-person account of sibling support and changing family roles. The conversation and planning prompts here are editorial examples.
Back to the advice - Difficult feelings
Mind: understanding carer roles and experiences describes anger, guilt and the strain on a supporter’s own life.
Back to the advice - Sibling peer support
Rethink Mental Illness: groups in your area provides a Siblings filter. Individual group arrangements must be checked with the organiser.
Back to the advice
Last full source check for this relationship advice: 2 October 2026
Support for you · Find people who understand
Last full source check: 2 October 2026
Independent information, not a medical or crisis service. This guidance has not been clinically reviewed. How we use sources.