Help them prepare for professional support

Before the appointment

• Write down the difficulties they most want help with.
• Include changes in self-harm, suicidal thoughts, sleep, relationships or daily life if relevant.
• List previous treatments, medicines and what helped or did not help.
• Ask what information they consent to you sharing or receiving.
• Prepare two or three questions about the next step.

Ask what treatment is being offered

The NHS says treatment for BPD commonly involves psychological therapy delivered by a trained professional. NICE provides guidance on the organisation of care and management of crises. The person's clinician should advise on treatment for their particular situation.

Questions that make the next step clearer

• What assessment has been completed, and is any further specialist assessment needed?
• What psychological treatment or skills support is available locally?
• Who should they contact between appointments if things deteriorate?
• Is there a written crisis or care plan, and can the person agree how family or friends are involved?
• If this service cannot help, who is responsible for the next referral?

Do not promise a particular therapy or assume one approach suits everyone. The clinician and the person should discuss what is appropriate and locally available.

If they are turned away

Ask what decision was made, who made it, why and what is offered instead. Keep using urgent routes if the situation changes while a complaint or reconsideration is under way.

If they do not want help

You can listen for what makes support difficult, offer one small practical step and share factual concerns with a service. A service may be unable to tell you private information, but confidentiality should not prevent it from listening to information you provide.

This page organises public guidance from the linked organisations; it has not been clinically reviewed by Here for Someone.

Sources checked: 27 August 2026