Choose a calm, private momentBeat advises avoiding a conversation immediately before or after a meal. Focus on changes you have noticed and how the person is feeling, not their weight or appearance.
Worried about immediate danger? Call 999 if someone's life is at risk. For worsening physical health in England, call NHS 111 or contact their GP. For urgent mental-health help, call their existing crisis team if they have one, or use the service and number shown for their UK nation.
Make concern easier to hear
- Use a calm, private setting.
- Describe particular changes rather than labelling them.
- Use statements about your concern instead of accusations.
- Ask how things have been for them, then listen.
- Expect that they may deny there is a problem or become defensive.
Source: Beat
What to avoid saying
- “You look healthy” or “you look better.” Beat advises avoiding comments about appearance, even when intended as reassurance.
- “Just eat normally.” This treats a serious difficulty as a simple choice.
- “But you do not look ill.” NICE says a single measure such as body mass index should not decide whether someone receives treatment.
- “I know exactly how you feel.” Ask what it is like for them instead.
- Diet, calorie or weight-loss talk. Beat advises avoiding this around someone with an eating disorder.
Sources: Beat and NICE
If the conversation closes down
Do not turn the moment into an argument. Make clear that your concern remains, keep ordinary contact going and return to the subject later. You can ask Beat or a GP for advice even if the person is not ready to seek help.
This page organises public guidance from the linked organisations; it has not been clinically reviewed by Here for Someone.
Sources checked: 27 August 2026
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