For a non-urgent concern, offer to help them arrange a GP appointment promptly, prepare notes or go with them, if they want you to. An adult usually needs to agree to assessment and treatment; you usually cannot make them accept help.
If they refuse, you can still tell their GP or team what you have noticed and ask for advice. Read what you can do if they refuse help and how consent works.
Worried they're physically unwell? Check the signs that need medical help now. Seek medical advice even if they do not agree to go. Don't wait for a routine appointment if they need urgent assessment.
Choose the situation
Take useful information to the appointment
Make a short note of changes in eating, physical symptoms, daily life and how long they have been happening. Include concerns the person wants help with. Avoid making the appointment depend on you proving a diagnosis.
Agree your role beforehand: company, notes, speaking for part of the appointment or waiting outside. Beat's GP guide explains what may happen and links to its First Steps leaflet.
Ask about physical health and specialist assessment
NICE recommends assessment of both physical and mental health, with prompt referral to an age-appropriate eating-disorder service if an eating disorder is suspected. Weight or the length of the illness should not be the sole basis for deciding whether to offer treatment.
You can ask what physical checks are needed, whether the clinician has concerns that cannot wait, and which service will receive the referral. The clinician should decide which examinations and tests are appropriate; a supporter should not be left to interpret measurements at home.[1]
Leave with a clear next step
These questions help turn “we'll refer you” into an arrangement you can follow up:
- Where is the referral going? Ask for the service name and how to check it has arrived.
- Who checks physical health while they wait? Ask whether another appointment is needed and who books it.
- Who explains results? Clarify how they will hear about tests and what happens if a result needs action.
- Who should they contact about deterioration? Get a daytime and out-of-hours route.
- What support is expected at home? Say if a proposed arrangement is not possible.
Write down the answers or ask for a written plan. If you are not involved in the appointment, offer the questions for the person to take themselves.
If they are waiting, or a service says no
Check first whether the referral has been received and whether more information is needed. Ask the referring clinician what the plan is while they wait. Report new symptoms or deterioration as they happen; do not save them for the eventual specialist appointment.
If a referral is declined, ask for the reason and what assessment or support is offered instead. If the explanation rests only on weight, ask how the other concerns have been considered.
“Please explain how the physical symptoms and changes in daily life were considered. If this service cannot assess them, who will, and who is responsible for monitoring their health meanwhile?”
The services-say-no guide covers further steps across the UK. A complaint is not a route for urgent medical care.[2]
Resources to use alongside the appointment
- Beat: going to the doctor: preparation and a guide you can take with you.
- MEED summary for relatives and carers (two-page PDF): urgent warning signs and what medical care may involve.
- Beat's family and friends hub: information, learning and peer support for your role.
If the person will not attend, use the refusal guide. Do not use a clinical risk calculator or a home measurement to decide that it is safe to wait.
Sources and how this guide was written
Ask about physical health and specialist assessment
If they are waiting, or a service says no
Last full source check: 1 October 2026
Consent and seeking advice wording checked: 7 October 2026. Sources and explanation.
Independent information, not a medical or crisis service. This guidance has not been clinically reviewed. How we use sources.
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