When things are fairly calm
Mind recommends asking open questions and listening rather than trying to fix the experience. It also advises against minimising what the person is going through.
Source: Mind
When you notice possible warning signs
Name one change you have observed and explain why you are raising it. Mind publishes this example:
Ask what they think is happening. If they have a plan, check which part they want to use. If the conversation becomes heated, pause and move to the urgent route if safety is becoming a concern.
Sources: Mind and NHS
During a high
- Keep sentences short and deal with one issue at a time.
- Do not turn the conversation into a debate about every plan or belief.
- Offer practical help they have already agreed to.
- If they are frightened by unusual beliefs or experiences, use the psychosis conversation guidance.
Sources: Bipolar UK, Mind and Rethink
During a low
Short, low-pressure contact may be easier to answer. The depression area brings together sourced guidance on listening, practical offers and asking about suicide when you are worried.
How to talk when someone seems depressedWhat to avoid saying
- “Everyone has mood swings.” Mind advises against minimising the person's experience. Ask what this change feels like for them.
- “You are definitely getting manic again.” Mind says not to assume every mood change is a relapse. Describe the specific change you have noticed.
- “Calm down.” Use a calm voice yourself and move to one practical question.
- “Do you still need your medication if you feel better?” Medication decisions belong with the person and their prescriber.
- “After what you did last time, I cannot trust you.” Raise a specific concern and an agreed safeguard without using a previous episode to shame them.
Sources: Mind, Bipolar UK and NHS
After an episode
Mind advises waiting until the person feels able to talk, then explaining how specific behaviour affected you instead of making general accusations. Ask what would help next time and what they want you to do differently.
Bipolar UK also advises setting boundaries around your own needs and responsibilities. Supporting someone does not require accepting abuse, threats or unsafe behaviour.
Sources: Mind and Bipolar UK
Here for Someone is an independent information project. It is not a helpline or medical service. This page organises public guidance from the organisations linked beside the relevant information; it has not been clinically reviewed by Here for Someone.
Sources checked: 26 August 2026
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