Here for someone

Depression · Support for you

Support for you when someone has depression

Help with your own health, feelings and responsibilities when someone close to you has depression.

When depression affects your relationship tooYou may be doing more of the practical work, getting little response or missing the person you used to spend time with. You can care about them and need help with the effect on your own life.

Looking for ways to help them day to day? See supporting someone with depression over time.

What has become difficult?

They seem distant, and I miss themDepression, emotional numbness and strain in your relationship. I have taken on too much, and nobody can take overHow to ask services for help with tasks you cannot keep doing. My own health is sufferingPrepare for your GP appointment and find talking therapies in your UK nation. I want to hear from other supportersGeneral groups and forums for partners, friends and family.

Talk to somebody

Speak to someone you trust, your own GP or a confidential listening service. You do not have to disclose the other person's private medical details to explain how the situation is affecting you.

  • Samaritans: 116 123. UK and Ireland. Free to call. 24 hours, every day.
  • Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258. UK. Free to text. 24 hours, every day. Replies may take longer when the service is busy. For immediate danger, call 999.

When helping has become taking responsibility for everything

List what you now do: appointments, meals, messages, work you have missed or being available at night. Pick the arrangement you most need to change. In a steadier moment, explain what you can continue and which part needs another plan.

The depression guide on agreeing limits has an example for changing an established arrangement. If withdrawing help would leave essential care uncovered, use the steps for getting backup from services.[1]

A Carer's Assessment

If you regularly provide unpaid practical or emotional support, you may be able to request a free Carer's Assessment or its local equivalent. You can ask even if you do not use the word “carer” about yourself.

Eligibility, names and processes differ across England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Find assessment routes for your UK nation

[2]

Related help
Guilt, anger or resentmentRights and practical helpSupporting them over time
Sources and how this guide was written

  1. When helping has become taking responsibility for everything

    Rethink: reviewing what you can provide and who else can help.

    Back to the advice

  2. A Carer's Assessment

    Carers UK and, for England, section 10 of the Care Act 2014. For Wales, see the Welsh Government carers charter under the Social Services and Well-being (Wales) Act 2014.

    Back to the advice

Service information: Samaritans and Shout

Samaritans contact information and Shout. These are listening services, not emergency services.

Last full source check: 26 August 2026

Later checks: Editorial changes checked against the linked guidance and carer-assessment jurisdiction checked: 1 October 2026.

Independent information, not a medical or crisis service. This guidance has not been clinically reviewed. How we use sources.

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