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Boundary scripts
Use these as examples for a conversation that is safe to have. If saying no or leaving could increase the danger, seek specialist safety advice first. Call 999 in immediate danger.
When you need sleep
“I need to sleep tonight. Let's check who you can contact while I'm unavailable.”
If ongoing care depends on you staying awake, ask the team to review it. A crisis number alone is not replacement care.
When a task cannot continue
“From Monday I can't do the evening visit. We need to tell the care team what will be missing.”
If this affects essential care, contact adult social care and the relevant care team. For care needed today, use the council’s duty or out-of-hours service.
When you cannot lend money
“I can't lend any more money. I can help you find free debt advice, if you'd like.”
Only offer help you can actually provide.
When voices are raised
“I want to hear you, but I need a pause. Can we try again later?”
Use this only if it is safe. You do not have to announce plans to leave an abusive situation.
When asked to keep danger secret
“I'll respect your privacy, but I can't keep it secret if I think someone may be seriously hurt.”
Take statements about suicide seriously and get appropriate help.
When nobody can take over
“There's no agreed cover. Please record what I can't continue, assess the gap and tell me who will respond.”
Give the task, the date it stops and what is likely to happen without it.
Full guidance: hereforsomeone.org.uk/support/boundaries/
Care gaps: hereforsomeone.org.uk/support/running-on-empty/
Based on the sources linked in those guides. Checked 1 October 2026.