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Boundary scripts
A boundary says what you will do. It is not a threat, punishment or attempt to control someone.
When voices are raised
“I want to listen, but I cannot do that while I am being shouted at. I am stepping away. We can try again when we are calmer.”
When you need rest
“I care about you. I am turning my phone off from 10pm. If you are unsafe, use the crisis numbers we wrote down.”
When asked to keep danger secret
“I will respect your privacy, but I cannot keep it secret if I think someone may be seriously hurt.”
When you cannot do a task
“I cannot do that today. I can help you make one phone call tomorrow.”
When blame becomes abuse
“Being unwell does not make threats or abuse acceptable. I am leaving now and will get help if I feel unsafe.”
When you are becoming the only support
“I care about you, and I cannot be the only person holding this. We need to involve professional or other trusted support.”
Use only wording that is safe in your situation. If setting a boundary could put you at risk, make a safety plan first. Read boundaries, anger and de-escalation and privacy.