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Depression · What you are noticing

Could this be depression?

This page can help you organise what you have noticed. It cannot diagnose the person.

Withdrawal, exhaustion or struggling with everyday tasks may make you wonder about depression. They can have other causes too. Describe what has changed and ask how they are managing, rather than trying to settle the diagnosis yourself.[1]

Are they under 18? This guide is about supporting an adult. Start with support for children and teenagers. If you are under 18 and supporting someone else, see young-carer rights and support.

Changes you might notice

Over a period of weeks, they may:

  • seem persistently low, empty, numb or irritable
  • lose interest or pleasure in things they usually enjoy
  • have very little energy
  • sleep or eat much more or less than usual
  • struggle to concentrate, decide or remember
  • avoid people, messages, work or ordinary responsibilities
  • neglect their appearance, home, meals or health
  • speak with intense guilt, hopelessness or self-criticism
  • move or speak more slowly, or seem unusually restless
  • talk about being a burden, having no future or not wanting to be alive

You do not need to wait until every sign is present before starting a conversation. These signs can have other causes. A health professional can assess what is happening.[2]

Someone who can work or laugh with you can still be struggling. You may only see part of their day.

When they are older

Persistent low mood is not something to dismiss as “just getting old”. Tiredness, reduced appetite, sleep problems or withdrawing may be what you notice first. Changes in memory or daily life also need assessment; do not decide yourself whether they mean depression or dementia. Supporting an older parent.

Source: Age UK: depression in later life; NHS: memory loss. This addition checked 8 October 2026.

They cannot simply snap out of it

The NHS describes depression as a real illness. Encouragement can help, but pressure and blame can make it harder to speak honestly.

Start with a question rather than a diagnosis.

Mind suggests“How are you managing?”

[3]

Signs that point to a different or more urgent route

Very little sleep with unusually high energyFast speech, racing thoughts, impulsive spending, grand plans or behaviour that is very unlike them. Hearing, seeing or strongly believing things others do notMarked suspicion, hearing voices, seeing things or beliefs that are affecting safety. Sudden confusion or physical illnessIf they suddenly become confused, go to A&E or call 999. Other physical symptoms may also need urgent assessment. Suicidal thoughts or immediate dangerAsk clearly if you are worried. Call 999 if someone's life is at risk.

What to do next

  1. Tell them what you have noticed.
  2. Ask how they have been feeling.
  3. Listen without diagnosing or arguing.
  4. Offer one manageable form of help.
  5. Encourage professional support if the changes are persistent, severe or affecting everyday life.[4]
Related help
How to talk to themHelp them get professional support
Sources and how this guide was written

  1. Opening advice

    NHS symptoms of depression and NHS urgent-help guidance.

    Back to the advice

  2. Changes you might notice

    The signs above are paraphrased from NHS symptoms of depression.

    Back to the advice

  3. They cannot simply snap out of it

    NHS depression overview and Mind's guidance.

    Back to the advice

  4. What to do next

    Mind and NHS depression guidance.

    Back to the advice

Source basis: NHS

NHS depression guidance, NHS psychosis guidance and NHS urgent-help guidance.

Last full source check: 26 August 2026

Later checks: Help-route wording checked: 1 October 2026.

Independent information, not a medical or crisis service. This guidance has not been clinically reviewed. How we use sources.

Medical escalation: NHS: sudden confusion and NHS: urgent and emergency mental-health help.

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